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Computer forensics and random thoughts. Hopefully more of the latter than the former.
Browsing All Posts filed under »moaning about job«
Alternative Forensic Awards
You wanted a Monkey…and for your sins, I gave you one. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to write more blog posts, it really isn’t. Ideas come to me, then fade. Sometimes I wonder if I should do some actual forensic posts, but then as soon as I’ve finished doing something new or interesting I […]
Animalising the HTCU
June 23, 2011
And what woof-beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Monkeytown to be born? (with apologies to W.B. Yeats) The Monkey family acquired a dog this week. He’s a lovely little fella, black-and-white and with a colourful ethnic mix of basset, border collie, staffie and a few others. He came with a name, and […]
HTCU Simulator
January 27, 2011
You can get simulator games for almost every activity these days. I had a job a few years ago where the suspect spent days on end flying virtual airliners around the world – he spoke with contempt of people who skipped the ‘long bits’, and would only share his hobby with other hardcore pilots who […]
Motivating the Forensic Team
June 29, 2010
Yup, I know it’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been busy with one thing and another, and kinda ran out of inspiration a bit as well. I’ve got a load of half-written posts that weren’t really tickling me, so I hope that this one satisfies your monkey-lust until I can get back […]
Going on a jolly
April 29, 2010
It took an F3 conference for me to realise that I had a problem with my eyebrows. We were on our way back from Tortworth Hall in 2005, me and a since-retired colleague. He was driving because I was feeling very poorly indeed, a result of drinking heavily in good company the night before. I had my head stuck part-way out of the window ('driving doggy-style' , I call it ) and noticed something moving in the side mirror.
Crime Prevention
April 9, 2010
I’ve given you lot a few quickie list-based posts recently, so now you can do your penance and read one of my long ranty ones. It’s even got a serious point to make, although there are still a few cheap laughs in there. I think it’s fair to say these days that if LE computer […]
Bringing in the money
January 21, 2010
Money seems to be in short supply for HTCUs at the moment. When I started a few years ago, there was usually enough to keep things ticking over – to buy equipment, training, overtime to get through the backlogs and all the rest of it. These days cuts across the force make it very difficult […]
Rebranding the HTCU
January 14, 2010
Our outgoing DCI brought her replacement to our office this week, to show him around and introduce us all. When they came in she introduced us as ‘The HTCU – this is where they talk about widgets and flange capacitors and stuff’. With that sentence, we were all instantly reminded of our station in the […]
Everything: It’s a Bit Shit But That’s OK
November 18, 2009
Any stability in a computer-related system is very frickin transient, as we all know. Attaching ourselves - investing effort and emotional energy - to the desire for this situation to change, can only lead to suffering. IT is shit. It cannot be any other way. If you don't accept that, become a shepherd and you'll be happier.
The Reporting Stage
November 16, 2009
I always dread the report-writing part of the forensic process. By that stage in a job I’ve usually done all the interesting stuff and I’m often pretty bored of the job and want to pick up the next one (even though it’s often pretty identical to the last). OK, I suppose I could write the […]
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Happy as a Monkey 
April 5, 2012
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