Monkeytown Secret Cyber Tools List

July 17, 2014


CLASSIFICATION: VEWY VEWY SECWET (NOT EVEN YOUR MUM) Hi boss, this is the list of specialist tools and techniques that are available to Monkeytown Cyber Ninja Deathsquad Cadre. I hope that this document doesn’t get leaked like that report on the bin Laden forensic analysis I did or that new stuff from GCHQ! Don’t treat […]

Posted in: Monkeytown leaks

Downfall parody – Hitler rants about Encase training policies

June 25, 2013


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Post-conviction Client Satisfaction Form

December 28, 2012


This post was inspired by a Twitter conversation with the most excellent @forensication, whose dog I once helped rescue when it went missing in the Bronx. Our job can be a thankless one sometimes. You slog your guts out for tens or hundreds of monkey-hours, churning through the foetid sludge of someone else’s brain-wrong, and […]

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Ancient Illuminated Order of Forensicators

December 3, 2012


Whilst enjoying the charms of the Monkeyton Village Show over the summer, I was surprised to to see that between the coconut shy and the hook-a-duck stall (not to be confused with the Hooker Duck stall, which was something else entirely) was a booth belonging to the local Masonic Lodge. Being a curious sort of […]

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Alternative Forensic Awards

April 5, 2012


You wanted a Monkey…and for your sins, I gave you one. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to write more blog posts, it really isn’t. Ideas come to me, then fade. Sometimes I wonder if I should do some actual forensic posts, but then as soon as I’ve finished doing something new or interesting I […]

High-Tech Crime Trading Cards

September 8, 2011


Son of Monkey has recently got heavily into Pokemon and, to a lesser extent, Yu-Gi-Oh. I’m a nerdy type of a guy in many ways (no, really!) but I have to admit that these things send me into a bit of a headspin and I’m afraid that I Just Don’t Get It. I was flicking […]

Posted in: Forensics, Office Life

Animalising the HTCU

June 23, 2011


And what woof-beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Monkeytown to be born? (with apologies to W.B. Yeats) The Monkey family acquired a dog this week. He’s a lovely little fella, black-and-white and with a colourful ethnic mix of basset, border collie, staffie and a few others. He came with a name, and […]

The MCCF Good Practice Guide for Computer-Based Electronic Evidence

May 26, 2011


As good forensicators, I hope that we’re all familiar with the ACPO ‘Good Practice Guide for Computer-Based Electronic Evidence’. For those outside the UK, this is the booklet produced by the Association of Chief Police Officers covering the dos and don’ts for the seizure, analysis and presentation of computery stuff by Law Enforcement in the […]

Posted in: ACPO, Forensics

Bin Laden hard drive – prelim. forensic report

May 4, 2011


Boss, this is the preliminary report on the bin Laden job we picked up – quite a coup getting that, wasn’t it? I’m sending this email by the new super-mega-secure system that the CIA connected us to, but I’m not sure if I’m doing it right. I hope this doesn’t go out on some random […]

Posted in: Monkeytown leaks

Free headlines to help lazy journos, shocker!

March 8, 2011


A friend and colleague posted a Sky News story to Facebook today with the headline “Police Overtime Bill Hits £3.8bn In 10 Years” The article, based on a report by the Conservative think-tank Policy Exchange, is a brief puff-piece that can be summed up by the headline – if you take a chunk of national […]

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