Browsing All Posts filed under »Uncategorized«

Downfall parody – Hitler rants about Encase training policies

June 25, 2013

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Post-conviction Client Satisfaction Form

December 28, 2012

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This post was inspired by a Twitter conversation with the most excellent @forensication, whose dog I once helped rescue when it went missing in the Bronx. Our job can be a thankless one sometimes. You slog your guts out for tens or hundreds of monkey-hours, churning through the foetid sludge of someone else’s brain-wrong, and […]

Ancient Illuminated Order of Forensicators

December 3, 2012

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Whilst enjoying the charms of the Monkeyton Village Show over the summer, I was surprised to to see that between the coconut shy and the hook-a-duck stall (not to be confused with the Hooker Duck stall, which was something else entirely) was a booth belonging to the local Masonic Lodge. Being a curious sort of […]

Free headlines to help lazy journos, shocker!

March 8, 2011

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A friend and colleague posted a Sky News story to Facebook today with the headline “Police Overtime Bill Hits £3.8bn In 10 Years” http://news.sky.com/skynews/Article/201103115946836). The article, based on a report by the Conservative think-tank Policy Exchange, is a brief puff-piece that can be summed up by the headline – if you take a chunk of national […]

2010 – State of the Monkey

January 3, 2011

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So, it looks as if most of the people who arrive at Monkey from Google aren’t actually searching for Monkey or forensic stuff! I have become a keyword spammer…kill me now. The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog […]

Intelligence Report: Conspiracy against Monkey

October 23, 2010

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Grading: A/1/1 Intelligence indicates that members of OCG ‘The Gang of F**kers’ are conspiring to cause harm to the person and reputation of Happy MONKEY (25/10/??). Sources indicate that this is to be done by convincing ‘The SHOPKEEPER’ (NFD) that MONKEY is, and has been, stealing from ‘The Tuck Shop’ and is generally taking the […]

Beat the Cuts with Self-Assessment

July 12, 2010

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I’ve mentioned budget cuts in previous posts, but this time it’s serious – last week we were told that Monkeytown HTCU is going to be losing two members of staff in an attempt to slash 15% from the budget. This is the first in a long tsunami of cuts that are to save 25% over […]