Working title: Olympians of Love
Tagline: Because sometimes love gets messy!
Set in the 2012 Olympics, a perky English beach-volleyball player (Gwyneth Paltrow) falls in love with the whole Japanese bukkake team. When the Home Secretary (Jim Broadbent) who is secretly in love with her tells her that only one of the team will be given a residency permit after the games, the team starts to fall apart as they vie for her affection. Richard Curtis to direct.
Possible scene: the Japanese coach (Rhys Ifans) has a showdown with his Volleyball counterpart (Hugh Grant in blackface) over Paltrow’s disruption of his training schedule, culminating in a hilarious set-piece when Grant accidentally stumbles into the Japanese signature piece, the ‘Banzai Charge’.
Inspired by the work of The Failed Screenwriter’s Notebook
Nik
March 30, 2010
Hmmm bad day at the office by any chance? 🙂
happyasamonkey
March 30, 2010
Surprisingly, no. It just came to me in a flash.
Geoff
March 30, 2010
Monkey, as the fount of all bukkake-related knowledge, perhaps you can demystify a couple of thing for me.
1) How many members (team persons, I mean – well, same thing I suppose) make up an official team? Seems to me to range from 5 to about 500.
2) How do you qualify? Do you just have to prove you’re are a w*nker?
3) Do they have a cheerleading squad? Can you see their faces?
I just wonder these things…as one does.
happyasamonkey
March 30, 2010
Now I don’t hold myself up as an expert in these matters, before you start spreading rumours. To answer your questions though:
1) The Olympic standard is 12 but a quorum can be reached at 9. Domestic events within Japan are governed by the Bukkake Council of Japan.
2) Qualification comes after a long period of meditation and training. There’s a lot of ritual and performance involved, in a ceremony that originates with the samurai. Why do you think Kendo practitioners wear those masks?
3) No. Just no.