Browsing All Posts published on »March, 2010«

Movie Idea

March 27, 2010


Working title: Olympians of Love Tagline: Because sometimes love gets messy! Set in the 2012 Olympics, a perky English beach-volleyball player (Gwyneth Paltrow) falls in love with the whole Japanese bukkake team.  When the Home Secretary (Jim Broadbent) who is secretly in love with her tells her that only one of the team will be […]

Inside the mind of the monkey

March 26, 2010


For a long time now, people have asked me: “Monkey, wtf is going on in your head, you freak?” These days my response tends to be “That’s a fine way to speak to your husband”, but it’s a valid question. WTF is going on in my head? Well, this week I was playing with some […]

You make me do this: Forensic Readiness

March 22, 2010


Our artist-in-residence has given us another gem, fresh from his garret on the banks of the Seine. It works as an illustration to my ‘Forensic Readiness Plan’ post, although I don’t know if his came first. Click to embiggen:

Forensic Readiness Planning

March 19, 2010


Apparently businesses and organisations are now being encouraged to formulate Forensic Readiness Plans (‘FRP’, pronounced ‘Furrrp’) to have in place for when Something Bad happens and they need to get computery stuff forensicked. This is probably a good idea (although not as good as my idea for dividing supermarkets into ‘Things that are pickled’ and […]

Marketing Computer Forensics at the Kids

March 16, 2010


In an earlier post I suggested some books aimed at getting children into computer forensics. This time I’d like to suggest some ways in which vendors in the computer forensics field can market themselves at the juvenile demographic, to get their pitch in early. I’m not saying they should be selling kit to kids – […]

I posed as a Daily Mail journalist online. What follows will sicken you.

March 13, 2010


Even after 15 years of trolling on the internet I was shocked by what I encountered when I spent just 15 minutes pretending to be a Daily Mail journalist on a social networking site. Within 90 seconds I was called a ‘bigoted tosser’ by a complete stranger.I was deluged by questions from people from all […]

10 signs that you work in computer forensics

March 12, 2010


1. You can’t search Google or visit a web site without worrying about how it’d look to someone analysing your machine. 2. You get drunk and Google “normal-looking women with their clothes on” when your wife’s gone to bed. 3. Someone is explaining a scenario to you that’s reaching its end with “and then he […]

Marketing Computer Forensics

March 9, 2010


I try to avoid being exposed to advertising whenever possible, as I find its exclusive focus on humanity’s negative drives to be vexatious to the spirit. These days the admen seem to have grown increasingly tasteless and shrill in their clumsy attempts to appeal to our greed, lust, envy and dissatisfaction, and there is surely […]

You make me do this Part 5: Lessons

March 4, 2010


One for the office wall, I reckon:

You make me do this IV: “Any Questions?”

March 2, 2010


More comicy goodness. Click to embiggen. And in other news – Happy as a Monkey hit 10,000 page views over the weekend! Thanks for all your support folks.