Constipated Reindeer and a Monkey New Year

Posted on January 3, 2010


I know, I promised a Christmas post and I failed.

It wasn’t for want of trying though – I started one on the subject of Christmas forensic marketing, and it just turned into a generic rant about the evils of marketing. Then I tried a post  doing forensicificated versions of Christmas carols, and that one just wasn’t working either – although I did discover that deconstructing Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer from a Marxist perspective is quite interesting. You have a militant worker (signified by the ‘red’ nose) who is spurned by his class-traitor colleagues (wouldn’t let him join in any reindeer games). This changes when Rudolf allows himself to be flattered into helping the bloated symbol of Capital (who wears a red suit to signify the blood of the workers in which he bathes) and, upon proving his conformity, he is accepted into the ranks of the petit-bourgeoisie and helps Santa deliver his sleigh-load of insignificant trinkets to keep the proletariat complacent for another year.

But I digress.

Christmas passed well in the Monkey household. Son and Daughter of Monkey  both got what they asked for, including a ‘reindeer that poos sweets’ each. These were a huge success until the supplied chocolates ran out, whereupon we discovered that the reindeer take an unusual calibre of nugget that is incompatible with normal chocolate raisins. We now have two reindeer with impacted bowels and constipation, and the kids are learning some of the more prosaic skills in a vet’s toolkit. There are learning opportunities everywhere!

I’ll be continuing to blog regularly in 2010, but I won’t be trying to keep to a twice-weekly schedule. Instead I’ll just post when I’ve got something worth posting. I’ll be getting back to forensic work in February (I’ve been doing other projects for the last couple of months) so that should give me plenty of inspiration, but I also want to write more about non-forensic or techy subjects – that was the original intention when I started this blog.

Starting tonight I’m embarking on Operation Look Good Naked, so you’ll be reading the posts of a leaner, more chiselled monkey. I’ve posted the ‘before’ pics up at under the username ‘hairybellyandback’. Enjoy.

This post was brought to you with the help of a poached egg, freshly ground coffee using my fantastic new grinder and the sound of kids bickering.